Day FIVE with Carly Carson…

It’s our final day of the Week of Secrets and today Carly Carson reveals…

 

Five Secrets of the Superflirt

 

Some women are natural born, instinctive flirters. But if you want to jump-start your flirting skills, try these tips.

 

1.      Use your eyes! They are your most important flirting tool. Why? Studies have shown that men mostly approach women who have first signaled them with a glance. Even though men think they are forced into “cold calling” all the time, studies with hidden cameras show the truth. They do approach, but only after receiving a signal from a woman. (They may not even realize this.)

 

How do you send this signal? The first glance is where you simply notice the guy. It’s the second glance that establishes interest and you must make it! Catch his eye and hold it, just for a few seconds (okay, 4.5 if you want to go by the research). Then look away. No staring. The next part is also revealed by hidden cameras. If you’re interested, your gaze (and his) will drop below the face, down to the chest and straight to the genitals. (Though many people don’t realize they do this, it’s those hidden cameras again.) If a guy lets you see him checking you out, he’s interested. If I haven’t convinced you that eyes are important yet, think of the instant intimacy that is established through a mere wink.

 

2.      Touch. You’ve gotten him close enough to touch. So touch him. But subtly. He doesn’t need to know you’re doing it. But you will plant the idea in his head that you’re warm and approachable, even if he can’t explain why. Try a light touch on the forearm, or the back of his hand. If you’re feeling braver, touch his shoulder. If you’re feeling cowardly, touch his back. It will help! (No, you may not go straight for his package. Unless that’s all of him you want and even then, I don’t recommend it.)

 

3.      Smile – It is almost impossible for a person not to smile back. Try it. But be sure your smile is real. People easily read a fake one (since it doesn’t appear in the eyes).

 

4.      Show confidence. Everyone is drawn to the confident person. Make sure you’re standing tall, with your shoulders back and your arms relaxed (not crossed in front of you). This is where the mantra ‘fake it ’til you make it’ is so very handy. If you force yourself to feel confident, you will automatically adopt a more confident posture. Confidence is sexy and allows your flirtatious signals to be fun, not creepy!

 

5.      Finally, remember that flirting is fun! Approach it with a lighthearted, spice-up-the-day manner. You’re not marching into battle. You’re not expecting a marriage proposal. You just want to meet some likeable guys. Focus your mind on positive thoughts (sexual if possible, and if that’s not possible, then you’re not interested in this guy). Your face will soften, your lips will part in at least a half-smile, and your eyes will start to gleam. These are all signals to your quarry. (Fact. When you see something you like, your pupils widen. In a study done with photos where the researchers doctored the photos to show larger and smaller pupils, men voted the women with the larger pupils twice as attractive.)

 

scarlet-and-the-sheriffSo, go out and practice. Enjoy yourself! If you want to see how my heroine Scarlet flirts her way into getting her man, check out an excerpt here from my ebook at eRed Sage.

 

Here’s a blurb of Scarlet and the Sheriff: Fleeing a cheating fiancé, Scarlet breaks down on the Fourth of July in a sultry Southern town where the Sheriff is even hotter than the firecrackers. With no car and no money, she finds teasing the Sheriff a fun way to pass the time. Unfortunately, the Sheriff holds all the cards when he receives the warrants for her arrest issued by her ex. Now Scarlet has to dance to his tune – and the only song he wants to sing is about hot sex.

 

Finally, thanks for joining all of us at Red Sage this week. We had a great time! And many thanks to Jennifer for hosting us.

 

We’d love to hear from you and remember, if you post a comment, your name will be entered in our contest to win a book. Jennifer will announce the winner tomorrow, so please make sure she has a way to contact you, or you can check back on her blog.

 

Happy reading!

 

A BIG THANKS to all of my author guests this week!  I have had a great time and have enjoyed the various secrets that the authors have shared.  I hope that everyone else has as well.

 

Readers, don’t forget to leave a comment to be entered to win the prize that Carly mentions.  Today’s your last chance to be entered.  The winner will be announced sometime tomorrow.  Details can be found here.

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31 Responses to Day FIVE with Carly Carson…

  1. Helen says:

    I agree that eyes are the best way to flirt they can be so expressive
    It has been a great week thank you everyone

    Have Fun
    Helen

  2. Pat Toenjes says:

    Well said, Carly. Flirting, my favorite thing! If someone is attractive how could you not flirt? Scarlett and the Sheriff sound very hot even from the little blurb. I was fortunate enough to grow up in Central America where flirting is in our DNA.

    Even though I am technically an “old lady” I still like to keep my hand in and practice flirting from time to time. It keeps the mind sharp and the blood flowing.

    Love your blog,

    Regards,

    Lucinda

  3. Great info Carly! I am totally on board with the eyes. It’s so fun to flirt with the eyes even if you aren’t interested in going any further than that.

    Scarlett and the Sheriff sounds interesting. I may have to check it out.

    Sandy

  4. Carly Carson says:

    Hi Helen, glad you’ve had fun.

    Lucinda,

    You’re always young enough to flirt, no doubt about that. And there is something about growing up near the Equator that just keeps the heat in your blood.

    Sandy, you can’t go wrong with any Red Sage story if you want something hot!

    Thanks to each of you for stopping by.

    Carly

  5. Beth R says:

    I haven’t flirted in a while maybe its time to flirt

  6. Hi Carly! It’s been a long time since I flirted with anyone I’m not married to, but I generally found that totally ignoring a guy was a great way to get him to approach. Maybe the challenge or something 😉

    Jen

  7. Mia Varano says:

    Hi Carly, great job all week on the blog! I love to flirt! Even though I’m happily married, I still love a little harmless flirting with other men – usually other happily married dads – so it’s all safe and fun. This reminds me of one of my pick-up lines in my single days. I love the Rolling Stones, and one night at a club I noticed a guy at the bar who looked like Bill Wyman. So I went up to him and said, “You look like Bill Wyman.” He didn’t know who Bill Wyman was, so that was the end of that! LOL

  8. Fedora says:

    Fun tips, Carly–I’m not much of a natural flirt, so I need all the help I can get! 😉 And I do love stories that involve men in uniform–sounds like the sheriff has his hands full with Scarlet!

  9. Lisa W. says:

    I totally agree about the eyes being the most important. Even today being married almost 13 years when my husband looks at me a certain way I just melt.

  10. Carly Carson says:

    Beth – go try it! You might be surprised how easy it is.

    Jen, Hmmm you are clearly ready for lesson 2. Because you can’t ignore a guy unless you’ve noticed him, right? You must attract those totally cool guys who can pick up the subtlest clues – just kidding, you probably married the cool guy.

    Mia, thanks. I’m more like you. Even though I’m happily married, I still love flirting – the harmless kind that no one takes seriously. lol at Bill Wyman (don’t know him either)

    Fedora, although there are natural flirts (and I am raising one!) it’s like anything else, you can learn it.

  11. Bill Wyman? Well, she said the Stones. Is he the drummer, Mia?

    Poor Bill. Only Mia wants to flirt with him, LOL.

    I agree that flirting has a lot to do with the eyes and smile.

    It’s been a great week, everyone. Good luck to everyone entering the contest!!

  12. ThatBrunette says:

    Golly, I haven’t flirted in ages. Maybe I’ll take your tips and flirt with Husband across the dinner table tonight. I’m sure the 4-year-old won’t mind. 🙂

  13. kim h says:

    good to know i will try it lol.

  14. Juliet Burns says:

    I’m a horrible flirt and can almost always get one of my 3 brothers-in-law to blush with my flirting. We’ve all known each other so long now that my sisters and I joke about husband swapping and the kids don’t even blink an eye. And I flirt with guys I don’t know either. But nothing TOO naughty until I get to know them…

  15. Susan says:

    I think the eyes play a big part when flirting.

  16. Jennifer Y says:

    I am a horrible flirt (literally…by this I mean that I am not very good at it…LOL). I can use all the advice I can get. I think it is tied in with my lack of confidence…and a lack of guys to flirt with…LOL

  17. sara hurt says:

    I totally agree the eyes have it.

  18. Cheryl McInnis says:

    I’m going to try these tips out on my husband tonight, lol. Scarlet and the Sheriff sounds awesome Carly, and all the authors,thanks for all the great excerpts!

  19. Carly Carson says:

    That Brunette and Cheryl, I hope your hubbies enjoy it!

    Sara and Susan, I just had to put the eyes first!

    Juliet, you confused me with the ‘horrible’. I was relieved to discover the French courtesan actually loves to flirt!

    Carly

  20. Carly Carson says:

    Lisa W. that is so sweet. Hot hubbie huh?

    Hi Kate, Poor Bill I think I have to go look him up.

    Kim H – try it! you’ll like it

    and Jennifer – practice practice practice – start with random guys you don’t care about. Who said they flirt with strangers? Juliet? It’s all good.
    Carly

  21. Tami C says:

    I am pretty sad, this is the first I heard about this and it is the last day!! Oh well at least I made it in. Thanks for the tips Jennifer.

    Tami
    OneToughCookieTC @ Yahoo.Com

  22. Jane says:

    I agree that you try to catch a person’s interest first with the eyes and then you smile to let them know you’re interested.

  23. Blanche says:

    My hubby says my eyes “talk” and he knows exactly how I feel or what I’m thinking by looking at my eyes!! I totally agree the eyes have it!! 🙂

  24. Carly Carson says:

    Tami – you can always go back and read the other blogs. The fun is free!

    Jane and Blanche, sounds like you have the system down. And it also seems like we have lots of natural flirts on this site!

    Thanks to everyone for joining us and especially to Jennifer for hosting the week.

    Carly

  25. More how-tos to go on the printout list!

    Carly, congrats on the really great reviews. The excerpt put me right there in water with them.

    Thanks so much for a fun week of authors and their romance Secrets.
    Julie

  26. Carly Carson says:

    Thanks, Julie, for your comments. I really appreciate it!

    I’m glad you were able to join us for the fun.

    Carly

  27. Terri W. says:

    Thanks for the fliring tips Carly, they are really helpful!

  28. Carly Carson says:

    Terri,

    I want to be a dating coach in my next life! lol

    Carly

  29. Ginny Sue says:

    Hi,

    My best friend Chris was a natural born flirt. Many men commented on how she talked with her eyes. She would also use touch. Sometimes on the arm, sometimes touching a man’s hair and lightly commenting on his haircut. She was an outrageous flirt without being obnoxious and if a man felt his “package” being touched, it wasn’t by her fingers, but with her eyes, smile and easy manner.

    Ginny

  30. Carly Carson says:

    Hey Ginny,

    Thanks for joining us!

    Carly

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