It’s our final day of the Week of Secrets and today Carly Carson reveals…
Five Secrets of the Superflirt
Some women are natural born, instinctive flirters. But if you want to jump-start your flirting skills, try these tips.
1. Use your eyes! They are your most important flirting tool. Why? Studies have shown that men mostly approach women who have first signaled them with a glance. Even though men think they are forced into “cold calling” all the time, studies with hidden cameras show the truth. They do approach, but only after receiving a signal from a woman. (They may not even realize this.)
How do you send this signal? The first glance is where you simply notice the guy. It’s the second glance that establishes interest and you must make it! Catch his eye and hold it, just for a few seconds (okay, 4.5 if you want to go by the research). Then look away. No staring. The next part is also revealed by hidden cameras. If you’re interested, your gaze (and his) will drop below the face, down to the chest and straight to the genitals. (Though many people don’t realize they do this, it’s those hidden cameras again.) If a guy lets you see him checking you out, he’s interested. If I haven’t convinced you that eyes are important yet, think of the instant intimacy that is established through a mere wink.
2. Touch. You’ve gotten him close enough to touch. So touch him. But subtly. He doesn’t need to know you’re doing it. But you will plant the idea in his head that you’re warm and approachable, even if he can’t explain why. Try a light touch on the forearm, or the back of his hand. If you’re feeling braver, touch his shoulder. If you’re feeling cowardly, touch his back. It will help! (No, you may not go straight for his package. Unless that’s all of him you want and even then, I don’t recommend it.)
3. Smile – It is almost impossible for a person not to smile back. Try it. But be sure your smile is real. People easily read a fake one (since it doesn’t appear in the eyes).
4. Show confidence. Everyone is drawn to the confident person. Make sure you’re standing tall, with your shoulders back and your arms relaxed (not crossed in front of you). This is where the mantra ‘fake it ’til you make it’ is so very handy. If you force yourself to feel confident, you will automatically adopt a more confident posture. Confidence is sexy and allows your flirtatious signals to be fun, not creepy!
5. Finally, remember that flirting is fun! Approach it with a lighthearted, spice-up-the-day manner. You’re not marching into battle. You’re not expecting a marriage proposal. You just want to meet some likeable guys. Focus your mind on positive thoughts (sexual if possible, and if that’s not possible, then you’re not interested in this guy). Your face will soften, your lips will part in at least a half-smile, and your eyes will start to gleam. These are all signals to your quarry. (Fact. When you see something you like, your pupils widen. In a study done with photos where the researchers doctored the photos to show larger and smaller pupils, men voted the women with the larger pupils twice as attractive.)
So, go out and practice. Enjoy yourself! If you want to see how my heroine Scarlet flirts her way into getting her man, check out an excerpt here from my ebook at eRed Sage.
Here’s a blurb of Scarlet and the Sheriff: Fleeing a cheating fiancé, Scarlet breaks down on the Fourth of July in a sultry Southern town where the Sheriff is even hotter than the firecrackers. With no car and no money, she finds teasing the Sheriff a fun way to pass the time. Unfortunately, the Sheriff holds all the cards when he receives the warrants for her arrest issued by her ex. Now Scarlet has to dance to his tune – and the only song he wants to sing is about hot sex.
Finally, thanks for joining all of us at Red Sage this week. We had a great time! And many thanks to Jennifer for hosting us.
We’d love to hear from you and remember, if you post a comment, your name will be entered in our contest to win a book. Jennifer will announce the winner tomorrow, so please make sure she has a way to contact you, or you can check back on her blog.
A BIG THANKS to all of my author guests this week! I have had a great time and have enjoyed the various secrets that the authors have shared. I hope that everyone else has as well.
Readers, don’t forget to leave a comment to be entered to win the prize that Carly mentions. Today’s your last chance to be entered. The winner will be announced sometime tomorrow. Details can be found here.